I seriously can not stand myself I’m so sick of everything. I want to throw up and never look at myself again. I cannot believe I gained so much from the summer. I cannot believe how disgusting I look in a bathing suit. I hate myself. I’m so tired all the time and I don’t know why. I eat and feel good but then later regret it. But I can’t not eat because then I feel tired and not able to do anything. I just need to get in shape. I feel sick. I deactivated my facebook because it’s distracting. Might delete twitter next. Going on vacation in two days and still unfortunately feel gross. I hate doing homework on the computer when I just want to sleep. foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Why the hell are my hips so big?

I’m so fat I hate myself.

It’s so strange how people always tell me I’m skinny when I’m feeling fattest. “You could afford to have a few of those cookies…” “more like 12..” but no because my hips are freaking ginormous and I’m going on vacation in nearly 11 days to a place where it’s very warm and I’ll be wearing a bathing suit. On the bright side my calf muscles are making a comeback…now to work on getting the rest of my muscle/0 fat body back. If I had my licence I would drive to the gym every day and run 5 miles…but I don’t have my licence because I’m too young and haven’t even taken drivers ed yet. I seriously have so much stuff to do and tomorrow is Mother’s Day ;sajdflkwoiergikds gotta get stuff done bye!